


My Dear Kismesis

by sakuratyan



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Kismesis, bluhbluh, matesprit, relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-20
Updated: 2012-09-20
Packaged: 2017-11-14 16:27:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/517291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakuratyan/pseuds/sakuratyan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eridan's lonely, Karkat's irritated, and Vriska's a bitch. But then again, what's new?</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Dear Kismesis

 

 

 

* * *

 

“Now, whose fault is it that your quadrants aren’t filled?”

 

            Eridan scowled at the figure beside him, giving her a look that could potentially kill. Isn’t it bad enough that he already made himself feel horrible over how shitty he was at relationships? He already lost his moirail/potential matesprit to a mu2tard-blooded a22hole. No one would accept his offer to auspistize with him. And it wasn’t like he hadn’t lost his kismesis sweeps ago when he’d stopped flarping with the other trolls. “Do I really need’a be reminded ‘a how pathetic I am all the time?”

 

            She crossed her arms and returned the look, only with her slight signature smirk to replace his grimace. “If I don’t do it, who else would have the nerve to?”

 

            It was true, he guessed. The only ones who would ever think of pointing out how pathetic and lonely and stupid he was were the same ones he tried to form some sort of relationship with. Everyone else was either too scared to, or didn’t give enough of a shit to bother. Gamzee was probably too interested in other things to care. Equius both respected him as a highblood and hated him as a whole to say anything against him to his face. Kanaya probably had something against him because of the way he called her out for meddling. Nepeta definitely thought he was a creepy guy. Tavros and Aradia didn’t care much about him. So really, he only had the lovve of his life, four lowwbloods, and one mutant.

 

            But it wasn’t always like that for Eridan. His quadrants weren’t always empty. He used to have a moirail, a potential matesprit, and a kismesis.

 

            It was that stupid game that changed everything, and it was all the fault of that stupid guy that his love decided to leave his side for because he adapted that stupid game and sent out the stupid files so everyone could play.

 

            He just didn’t play his cards right. Maybe if he could have been the one to save her, she wouldn’t hate her so much. Eridan had none of the luck, none of it. And it really sucked, too. “Hey, Vris, it’s not like I decided to be hated by everyone. It just happened.”

 

            “Again, whose fault is that?” she replied with a certain sense of dignity, belittling his status as a prince. “You can’t expect to be liked by people by telling them that you’re going to wipe out those land dwellers and killing everything that even _dared_ to twitch on your planet. Where’s the ‘hope’ in that?”

 

            The “Prince of Hope” deepened his scowl and contemplated stomping off in a rage. Doing so, however, would mean that the blue-blood would win. Instead, he slowly walked away with an air of pride surrounding him.

 

 

 

Right as he was sure he escaped from her sight (as well as anybody could escape from anyone else in a small room), he rested himself by leaning on the desk surrounding the inner perimeter of the room. “I’m damn pathetic, aren’t I?”

 

            “You got that right,” announced Karkat in a loud manner as he walked by to go to his own computer.

 

            “Wait, Kar!” the wannabe wizard called out. “I think I need some advice,” he asked shyly. God, for one of such noble birth to consult a lowblood (and a _mutant_ , at that) for advice was probably unthinkable to those who shared the same signs and blood as them for years before. Her Imperious Condescension would probably have his head for it if she hadn’t mysteriously disappeared many sweeps ago.

 

            Karkat sighed deeply. “How important is this?”

 

            “Very important.”

 

            “How much of a shit should I give?”

 

            “Kar—“

 

            “Fine, what?”

 

            Eridan’s lower lip quivered, almost like he was about to cry. “I’m turning into a pathetic, lonely troll.”

 

            “And?” Karkat was beginning to grow more impatient than he already was. Eridan had such a way to irritate the living fuck out of him.

 

            The prince uncharacteristically clawed at his cheeks with slight frustration. “I dunno, Kar, but I also don’t know what I should do! How did you deal with you and Ter and your guys’ thing?”

 

            “Firstly,” began the other almost angrily as he grated his own teeth in aggravation, “there was never a ‘thing’. I don’t know why the hell you guys have this big idea that me and her had one. Secondly, that ‘thing’—if it ever really existed, which it didn’t!—would be a thing of the past. But if it did happen, which I will once again state ‘IT DIDN’T!’, I would be too incapable of pretending like I never cared once upon a time. But since nothing ever happened, I’m pretty indifferent about Terezi right now.

 

            Eridan rolled his eyes. “My ass, Kar. You really care about her.”

 

            “... Alright. So let’s hypothesize that I do. Imagine that I cared for her so much that it made the amount of love you had for Feferi look like absolutely nothing in comparison for my love for her. Let’s say that we did have a thing closely resembling a matespritship, and now I’m depressed because she’s so obviously flirting with that pretentious tool.”

 

            “What does this have to do with me?” he asked in obvious confusion. He wasn’t exactly sure what Karkat was talking about, and to be honest he didn’t think Karkat knew what he was talking about either. “Are you sayin’ that you were red for her and liked her more than anythin’ else?

 

            Karkat smacked his face with his palm. “OK, scratch everything I just said.” He leaned back on the desk behind him. “That was me being stupid, I’m sorry. But aside from that, I really don’t think you should stress out so much about filling your quadrants. We’re not on Alternia anymore, and I don’t think you’re even supposed to worry about it as much as you do. We’re stuck here in the Medium and we’re probably going to be obliterated if we don’t work together, so starting a hatelationship with people or trying to get inbetween two people is going to ruin our already incredibly shitty teamwork.

 

            “Fine, Kar,” replied Eridan. “I’ll try to work with all you landdwellers if it means that I can do whatever the hell I want later.”

 

            “By all means.

 

 

 

That sure as hell didn’t help, not that a bunch of running words that sounded like a bunch of bullshit would ever be helpful at all. He still felt horrible and worthless. Feeling like a loser was pretty much Eridan’s specialty now.

 

            He slowly walked away from Karkat, still feeling as rejected as he did when he began to ask for help. He could just _see_ Sollux and Feferi talking to each other from all the way across the room, and he didn’t like it one bit. The way he actually laughed when she might have said something moderately funny and the way she talked so excitedly like she never did with him _killed_ Eridan. And along with that, he doubted anybody would like him enough to help talk him through it at all. Only Karkat could give him advice, but since he tried that already he was running fresh out of options.

 

 

 

“There really _is_ no ‘hope’ for you, eh Dualscar?” taunted Vriska from behind.

 

            God, didn’t he just finish dealing with her? Was it really that hard to get rid of spiders nowadays? “Shut it, Serket. You know we’re past our flarping days.”

 

            Her lips curved back into her signature smirk. “Oh, don’t you wish we weren’t though? With our inventive little games and my winning streaks? I had all the luck, and you had none of it.”

 

            “That’s not luck,” he explained. “That’s you bein’ a cheatin’ witch.”

 

            Vriska cackled, causing anybody within a half a mile’s radius (which was pretty much everyone) to turn around. I’m not a cheater, and you know that.”

 

            Yeah right. Vriska loved to cheat, even if she didn’t realize that she did. She loved to use every bit of luck she had against people, and she used her mind control to manipulate others and pretty much attempt murder toward anyone who could have even stood a slight chance of winning against her. And before her own accident, she had made such a habit of using her _Vision Eightfold_ to learn about what the future would hold. Was that not cheating? and if it wasn’t, was it not unfair anyway? Vriska Serket, although being an extremely smart and conniving demon troll, was just a big cheater. “I’m not gonna spend time arguing with you about this.”

 

            All he wanted to say was “Go to hell”, but that wouldn’t have been so smart. Her antagonistic character showed through her lone robotic eye and the way the cold metal of her fake arm curved to cross with the other. A playful smirk appeared on her face once again.

 

            “Screw you, Vriska.”

 

            “Oh, Eridan,” she said, tapping her fingers on the edge of the desk. “My dear kismesis. Why can’t we just get along?

 


End file.
